Sa hindi inaaasahang Pagtatagpo ng mga mundo May minsan lang na nagdugtong, Damang dama na ang ugong nito. Di pa ba sapat ang sakit at lahat Na hinding hindi ko ipararanas saýo Ibinubunyag ka ng iyong mata Sumisigaw ng pag-sinta. Bakit di papatulan Ang pagsuyong nagkulang Tayong umaasang Hilaga’t kanluran Ikaw ang hantungan At bilang kanlungan mo Ako ang sasagip saýo. Saan nga ba patungo, Nakayapak at nahihiwagaan na Ang bagyo ng tadhana ay Dinadala ako sa init ng bisig mo Bakit di pa sabihin Ang hindi mo maamin Ipauubaya na lang ba ‘to sa hangin ‘Wag mong ikatakot Ang bulong ng damdamin mo Naririto ako’t nakikinig saýo illyjj

kaibigan,

magandang araw, natanggap ko ang ipinadala mong liham at habang binubuksan ko pa lamang ang sobre ay nababatid ko na ang patutunguhan ng aking paghihintay. Lahat ng bulaklak ay nalalanta, natutuyo ang mga dahon kahit na ang mga bato ay nilulumot din, naluluma at kung minsay nagigiba. Wala akong magagwa kung talagang ang hangad ng puso mo ay kapayapaan, kagalakan hindi sa aking piling kundi sa kandungan ng iba, tinatanggap ko ang iyong pasya. Mahaba-haba na rin ang ating nalakbay, sa palagay ko’y hanggang dito na lamang subalit sana kung nalulungkot subukan mong pagbalikan tanaw ang ating nakaraan at sanay kahit papaano ay mapangiti ka ng ating alaala nung tayong dalawa’y magkasama pa. paalam at sanay huwag ka ng umiyak.

nagmamahal, 

ang iyong kaibigan sa kabilang ibayo ng dagat.

muli ay nandirito na naman ako kung saan kumakain sa hapagkainan, isang mahalagang bagay na natutunan ko buhat dito sa lugar na ito kung saan tayo ay nagsasalo, kung ano ang nakahain siya nating kainin, kung ano ang wala huwag hanapin at kung mawalan na ng pagkain saka tayo humanap ng kakainin. Itoy pilosopiyang natutunan ko buhat sa hapagkainan.

Nagmamahal lamang tayo at ng hindi masakatan isarado ang isipan sa kakaisip ng mga bagay na makakasakit lamang. Magmahal, ang mahalaga ay minamahal kita at ang lubos na mahalaga ay nalalaman at nararamdaman mong mahal na mahal kita.

ika-11 ng abril, 2012

kaibigan,

matagal-tagal na rin, mga ilang araw, linggo o wari ko ay buwan ng hindi tayo nakapagkakamustahan. Kamusta ka na, ano ng balita sa iyo, ano na ng nangyari sa maykahabaang panahong hindi tayo nakapag-uututang dila? Subalit bago kita subuan ng ibat-ibang liriko ng mga pagtatanong hayaan mo munang ibalita ko sa iyo ang aking kalagayan sa loob ng nagdaang pahina.

kasalukuya’y naglalangoy ako patungo sa pang-pang, pakiwari koy mahaba pa ang aking lalanguyin, sa tingin koy ilang alon pa ang hahampas sa akin bago ko maitapak na muli ang aking paa sa buhangin kung saan tayo ay naghabulan, humiga, nagtawanan, nagmahalan. Hindi ko pa natatanaw ang baybayin, subalit wala akong balak tumigil sa paglangoy, paminsay-minsay tumitigil ako, nagpapahinga sa gitna ng malamig at mapang-hamak na karagatan. Sa tuwing mainit ay malamig, sa tuwing gabiy mainit ang tubig. Ngayon ko napatunayang marami ngang isda sa karagatan, may malaki, may maliit, may katamtaman, may masyadong matinik, mayroon din namang kasagaran lamang, mayroong mapanlinlang, mayroong mapaglaro, mayroong kasagaran at kaligatan at kung minsan ipagpatawad mo akoy nalilibang sakanila, pakiwari koy lubos na lamang akong nagigiliw. Baka muli ka na namang magtanong kung saan? Alam kong alam mo ang sagot, at hindi SAAN ang katanungan SINO, at parehas nating alam kungsino ang tinutukoy ko. Sandali lamang wag mo muna ako husgahan at sabihang huwag na patuluyin sa aking pupuntuhan, totoong may mga pagkakataong pinagmamasadan ko sila at hinahayaan ang aking sarili na malibang sa kanilang kumikinang na kaliskis at paglangoy subalit para sa akin, ang kinang ng sa isdang matagal ko ng napili at napangakuan ay natatangi, naiiba ang kanyang paglangoy, sumasalungat sa alon na mas lalo ko pang naibigan sakanya, naiiba siya, iba sa mga isdang nakisabay sa aking paglalangoy. Bagamat hindi ko pa natatanaw ang dalampasigan, pakiramdam koy itoy nandiyan lamang, malakas ang pakiramdam ko na hindi ako naliligaw, kung kaya naman sasalungatin ko rin ang alon at ang isdang nabanggit ko ay aking susundan, doon sa dalampasigan kung saan muli ko siyang makakasama, hindi na lamang pansamantala kung hindi hanggang sa magkaylanman.

At ikaw? tinatangay ng hangin at dala-dala ng mga ibon ang balitang masaya ka raw, tunay nga ba? masaya nga ba? hindi ka na ba umiiyak? hindi ka na ba humihikbi? Kung tunay nga ay maganda, lubha akong masaya kung tunay ngang ikay nagagalak. Sa tuwing umaga bay nag-aalmusal ka pa? sa tuwing tanghali bay nanananghalian ka pa? sa gabiy naghahapunan? sa mga oras kung may pagkakataon ay nagmemerienda? natutulog ka ba sa oras? may sapat na oras ba ang iyong pagtulog? Inaalagaan mo ba ng mabuti ang iyong sarili? Nakarating sa akin na nagkasakit ka raw? Magsabi ka, lalapitan kita at aalagaan. Umiinom ka pa ba ng mga pangpalakas ng katawan? umiinom ka pa rin ba? nagsisigarilyo ka pa rin ba? Nag-aalala ako sayo, inaalala kita, bagaman malayo ako at malayo ka palagi kitang inaalala, palagi ka pa ring sumasagi sa aking isip. Batid ko namang hindi gugustuhin ng isda na lumangoy patungo sa mismong palayok na kanyang paglulutuan kung kayat natitiyak kong kung siya man ay nasaan sa kabilang ibayo ng karagatan na aking tinatahak, pakiwari koy masaya siyang lumalangoy. Masaya akong makita na masaya siya.

Mahaba pa nga ang aking lalanguyin upang makarating sa aking destinasyon sa likod ng mga along humahampas sa akin. Sanay habang magkaiba ang katubigang ating kinalalagyan, sanay hindi mo makalimutan ang lahat ng aking mga pangako nung tayoy nasa iisa lamang na sisidlan, at ipinaaalala ko lamang sa iyo na hanggang ngayoy hindi nagbabago ang isip ko at nararamdaman. May tiwala ka ba sa akin, kung ang sagot mo ay oo natutuwa naman ako, hindi ko sisirain ang tiwala mo. Kahit na malayo at mahirap hindi ako sumusuko, kahit na malamig at mainit hindi ako babali ng pangako, magtiwala ka lamang sana, pagdating ko sa pangpang aantayin kita sa lugar kung saan natin napagkasunduan. At alam kong alam mo naman kung saan, sa aking kandungan kung saan walang-hanggan kitang aalagaan.

Hindi na ako magtatanong pa, makapaghihintay ang sulat na ito ng  tugon. At kahit hindi mo sagutin, walang saysay ang salita sapagkat mababatid naman natin ito sa ating mga gawa, kung sanay makikita mo lamang ako mas mahusay sana na matatanaw mo at ng maiparamdam ko sa iyo, hindi ko na kailangang ibulong.

Hanggang dito na lamang, marami ring pating sa karagatan kailangan ko ng lumangoy ng hindi ako maungusan.

nagmamahal,

BDSFBF,

kung sakaling umulan bukas magsasayaw ako. kung sakaling bumagyo magtatatakbo ako sa daan. kung lumindol man at gumuha ang mga establisimiento magsasayaw ako at kung katapusan na ng mundo magsasaya ako. panandaliang tatakas sa realidad at hayaang maghari ang pangarap na siyang gumagawa ng buhawi. kung sakaling bumaha, sakaling gumuho ang lupa at lamunin ng alon ang lupa magsasaya ako. kakanta ako habang unti-unting nababon sa lupa, sa putik sa tubig at kung matabunan na ako sisiguraduhin kong nakangiti pa rin ako. kung iiwan na ako ng buhay haharapin ko ang kamatayan ng nakangiti. kahit sandali, kahit kaonting oras lang, kahit sandali lang, sandaling sandali lang magiging masaya na ako. kasi alam ko, pakiramdam ko, sana, nananalangin ako, iniisip ko, pinapangarap ko, sana, siguro, pakiwari ko mula sa ilalim ng kailalamin isang kamay ang hahatak sa akin, iaahon ako. iahon mo ako, itayo mo ako ng tuwid, punusan mo ang marungis kong mukha, imulat mo ang aking mata, palitan ang basa kong damit, bihisan mo ako, gusto kong maramdaman, gustong gusto kitang maramdaman. gisingin mo sana ako, binabangungot na ata ako, nanginginig ako sa lamig, basang-basa na ako, pangarap. nasaan ka na, nagbabaga na ang uling hanguin mo na ako.

Married or not… you should read this.
Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. 

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. 

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. 

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. 

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! 

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. 

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

eulabratinella:

prince and I.

i miss them..

thiswoulddofornow:

PLEASE HELP MY FRIEND FIND HIS MOM! 

“This is my mother, Lea Angeles Ng. The last time I saw, 1/20/12, approximately 10AM her I gave her a kiss on the cheek and out of nowhere she told me she loved me. She left the house a few minutes after I did in our silver Toyota Prado, plate number JUS-77 and I can’t stop blaming myself for not telling her I love her too.”

5”2, medium build, 40 years old (but looks 35)

She said she was going to the bank but she never got there (Bank of The Philippine Islands (BPI) in front of Eastwood, Quezon City)

She lives in St. Ignatius, Quezon City, Philippines (if it helps)

Please contact this number if ever you find her :( 09178045878

THANK YOU! :( 

ako yung lumayo kasi ang sakit sakit na, pero maniwala ka, mahal na mahal kita, hindi ko naman gusto na mawala ka sakin, kahit ang sakit na talaga mahal pa rin kita, ang plastic ko kung sasabihin kong hindi kaya lang iyon yun e. iyon pa rin yun. hnaggang ngayon, pero ayoko ng may masasaktan pa, lalo ka na.

god please save me